The Man I Can Count On

                                                        And  I'd choose you;

                                                        in a hundred lifetimes, 

                                                        in a hundred words, 

                                                        in any version of reality, 

                                                        I'd find you and

                                                        I'd choose you.

                                                                                                                                        Kiersten White

Recollecting various cheerful fragments of our long talks from the time of our acquaintance (they could last within long hours almost every day but never bored us), everyday of our life as a married couple I make sure they were not empty phrases. Once speaking about men and women (one of our favourite evergreen topics), I asked you jokingly: 'What kind of man can stand a woman 24 hours a day?', and you replied: 'The loving one'. 

Being your girlfriend I came from Zhytomyr to Kiev (as you studied there), and we used to walk around the city. Incredible feeling of safeness with your arms around me is still unchangeable: you make me feel like a princess.

Truly, we usually find time for each other, with all our virtues and shortcomings, while being friends - lovers - engaged couple - just married - spouses and new parents. There is only one thing that became different: 

being your fiancee I saw you were perfect, so I loved you;

now I see you aren't perfect, and I love you even more.   

Even when you are not pleased keeping my cold feet on you; stubbornly refuse to taste my salad, don't remember the date of our first hugs, or don't let me rub your back with rough scrubbers while taking bath ☺.

We don't take a rose-coloured view of relationships, as we have been married for more than four years, but our love is still spicy. 

So many of my smiles begin from you... I like we can talk about anything, share our impressions of some book, watch movies in bed together; I like to kiss you before you go to work, to wear some of your shirts when you are/aren't away, to cook your favourite dishes, and a lot of things, connected with you ☼. 

There are a lot of advantages to be a wife of a developer. 

• First of all, as a real programmer, you always can fix any problem (even when I don't know we have such one), in a way I don't understand;
• Secondly, you are very smart, as you learn something new every day and can speak various languages. Programming languages, which I don't understand, but it's ok.
• Also you are good at multitasking: you can help me to wash up and think about compillation of your code at once.

I'm so glad I cracked some of your personal code almost 7 years ago, and I'll do my best to go on participating in developing your good software through hugs and kisses, making you comfortable, loving you.

I'm happy to prove you that love is a static class. Happy that the man of my dreams is the man of my reality.

P.S. Sweetheart, I know this writing could hardly be a sort of  present for your birthday. But it will be sincerely a great present for me, if  you smile reading it ☺. 

   Love, Irina

401: Kindness Not Found

The less you respond to rude people... 

The more peaceful your life will become.

Mandy Hale

A man enters the metro without holding open the door before you; someone pushes in front of you in a queue; a passer-by blows smoke in your air space; your boss shows no remorse when he gives you extra work to do; a colleague interrupts you repeatedly without apologizing while speaking; preachy stranger comments on your child's behavior or breeding? Not everyone is polite in every situation and not everyone has to like you. But when in doubt you can always try to keep calm and ignore, just walk away rude people. If the insulting person's rank is higher than yours, comeback choices are limited but also possible. Generally it all depends on "is his opinion some of your business" answer.

Things seem to be worse when you have to deal with rude near (but not so often dear) relative. Unfortunately, not everyone has a close-knit family. Day by day you have to encounter with verbally abusive person who often passes judgement on your career or your kids, doesn't appreciate your housework or doesn't like your spouse's relatives or/and passes offensive remarks, jokes or snotty comments about them. Time and again an unpleasant aftertaste remains after your talk, or even worse, it's hard to keep the conversation alive. Probably your common reaction is "fight fire with fire" behavior, trying to change the offender and hope to hear apologizes from him. So my is, while I know that it's hard to change myself, so much more hard is to change others. And I realise I can scarcely wait for apology, because that's just the way the offender is: he is rude for me, but for himself he is real.

No likely you can apply "keep calm and ignore" or "kill them with kindness" principle as far as somebody of your family is concerned. Although my husband is used to being plain with everybody (thus he considers this explains the fact his friends are few) and tries to be quiet if he can't be kind. As for me, my practice in growing sick skin leaves much to be desired  :).

Frankly speaking, I'm a poor "how-to-deal-with-rudeness" guide. Not all of my relatives get along well with the rest of the family. And not all of my positive responses to somebody's disrespectful behavior had a satisfactory outcome. But here are some of replies to hurtful remarks due to which you can defend yourself while still being assertive, positive and polite:

• I'll try being nicer if you try being more intelligent.
• Thank you.
• I appreciate your perspective.
• It's time for your (and my) meditation.
• I think we've reached the end of this conversation.
• You don't really expect me to answer that, do you?
• Are you having a bad day?
• Sorry, I wasn't listening. Can you say it again?
• I beleive you.
• Ok.
• Oh I'm sorry the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours.
• I'm sorry talking while you're interrupting. Please, you go first. 

In fact, I believe that philosopher Eric Hoffer's labeling of rudeness as "the weak man's imitation of strength" is one of the best ways to look at, and then deal with this type of behavior. Thus how people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.

Good news, in conclusion: 

Offenders are not always rude and sarcastic. Sometimes they are asleep. :)

“Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it” 

      Rene Descartes

A Bad Day: Reload

"I think you just gotta have the bad days 
so you can love the good days even more ",

"Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"

The only time you fail is when you fall down and stay down                                       Stephen Richards 

There is hardly a man being immune to bad days. Such days make us weak and frustrated, angry and upset, anxious and depressed. The worst thing of all is that it also affects everyone around us. Such days seem to be a personalised version of "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". This movie reminds that with the bad comes a greater appreciation of the good.

Even if we can't choose some things that happen to us and around us, however, we can choose our attitudde to hard moments.

When you are going through your own storm there must be something that brings you even the smallest dose of joy. Something that can help you to keep positive thinking. 

1. Tea is always a good idea

It's your liquid wisdom, hug in a cup, hot bath inside. Easy to make, warm and relaxing, refreshing and delicious beverage diminishes troubles and soothes nerves. Share this pleasure with your friend. 

2. Soak your troubles away

Hot bath... One of my favourite ways to relax. Turn around bathing into the feast for the sences: sight (candlelight for soft gloving ambience), sound (favourite music allows your mind to drift), smell (essential oils, bath salts), touch (the fluffiest robe and towels), taste (your favourite drink can help refresh the body).

3. Make your soul's palette

Express your feelings in colour and design. Art therapy can be an exciting mode of self-discovery, or ultimate tension relief. Recently I've found a splendid coloring book for adults, "Secret Garden'' by Johanna Basford, that allows you to draw in your own pieces, find hidden treasures, and of course add colour. New Year's gift was duly appreciated by my sister as a perfect way to alleviate stress.

4. Tight hugs warm hearts

When the right person hugs you, all of your broken pieces fit back together. Hugs as a mode of exchanging energy bring surrounding sence of safety, peace and comfort. You can scarcely overdose this remedy from bad days.

5. Put a smile on

Sometimes life seems to be so difficult that you just need to laugh about it. I know people who can keep smiling and heart full of love, never treat the others badly while being in blues or even sick. I admire such a rarity good people and try to take after them.

6. A good deed brightens a dark day

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong, because someday in your life, you will have been all of these.” (George Washington Carver)

7. Four footed therapists

Pets' wide capacity to assist and love can't leave cold. We haven't to tell our friends that we are happy or sad, relaxed or angry – they already know. I'm not going to say that an average dog is nicer person than an average person. :) But there's something in it.

8. "I just called to say I love you"

Call somebody who never leaves you aside. Somebody  who is glad to hear your voice at any hour to laugh, to cry, or to complain. Somebody whom you love and trust. 

9. We lose ourselves in books, we find ourselves there too

Everyone to his taste, but when I'm low I get my English-Ukrainian Dictionary from the shelf, read and make some notes. My husband prefers technical books, so it's no surprise to catch him reading "C# in a Nutshell" or something like that when he is upset. 

You may choose the book that can make you think or vice versa take your mind off things.

10. A kid has a special way of adding joy to every day  

Kids may be happy for no reason. They are for real and love you "just because". One their smile may lift our spirits and make us smile. 

P.S. These things may not solve every problem in your life. Yet somehow they can make you feel better and to cope with bad days.

Remember, the best thing about the worst days of your life is that you get to see the true colours of everyone.

PokerStars: Real Poker or Roulette

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart

                                                                 Sting

Small benefit from PokerStars

"In poker you never play your hand.

You play the man across from you"

                       James Bond

There might be something queer about a female poker player. She may excite wonder or interest, criticism or mistrust. Actually it's not easy to understand women, especially women in poker. But it makes them even more attractive, doesn't it?

My husband and me have nothing complicated in our relationships, as we got used to each other's unpredictable decisionmaking. Jokes aside, we just have a bit different playing styles in poker. He plays Texas Hold'em & Omaha, I prefer Hold'em. He plays tournaments as well as micro-stakes cash games, I choose rather the latter. We're both tight poker players, but his game is more aggressive (Alex makes higher bets, few calls and has many all-in hands).

PokerStars Random Number 

Generator in one picture

You have big pocket pairs (Aces, Kings, Queens or Jacks),  or suited Ace-King, and find them the best starting hands for Texas Hold'em? Good news, you are right here. Bad news, it's not quite common for PokerStars, the fishiest poker site, where good pocket hand doesn't equal more bucks. Your opponent's hand range is much wider you can assume. To win with big pairs against offsuited fishes' hands, e.g. 7♣2♦, K♥4♠, 9♦3♣, appears magic-like. Just bad luck, something wrong with your play or an unfair poker room?

There're many comments on PokerStars service: "rigged", "scam", "not random","house always wins", and so on. Rightly so a lot of players call it 'JokerStars' or 'RiverStars'.

What's not clear with PokerStars:

• lengthy sessions of luck and bad luck;
• fortune favors fish;
• big stake rarely fails to win the pot;
• the 'nuts' on the flop often turns into a losing hand on the river. 

Poker room, unlike its players, isn't in need of luck. They always have 100 per cent cash in and never are out of pocket.

Playing real poker, as a matter of probability and odds,  could probably equal playing chess requiring great intelligence, experience and skills. But this is not an issue for online poker where a game is almost similar to roulette. 

Delicious Anniversary

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate

Linda Grayson

With a visit from the stork, spouses can scarcely find much time for intimacy. That is precisely why it's so important to spring pleasant surprises to each other for blossoming partnership. 

Scepticism about restaurants, or

Why I'm not a restaurant goer

My husband prepared for me a creative and impressive gift to our fourth wedding anniversary. Frankly speaking, I was never comfortable with ideas about restaurants. Being a provident young lady I used to make lame or good excuses even if it supposed to go to fast food restaurant, affordable for us, two students. Now as a careful housewife I prefer cooking myself too.  

Nine times out of ten the key lies in unreasonably high prices. Accountering my scepticism, Alex did not decide in favour of trendy hotspots. It was a quiet and cosy basement place within walking distance of Palats Ukraina Metro Station. 

Mechanical drawing

Leonardo da Vinci's invention ideas

Engineer Restobar interior design represents the subject of its name. There're three dining rooms with distinctive drawings, illustrative formulas, and other engineering inventions on the walls. 

Tablesetting with graph paper instead of the usual tablecloth makes the atmosphere inside even more interesting. You'll not have to feel bored waiting for your order. By the way, your tempting dish is never cooked beforehand and is served hot and hot, so you'd wait awhile enjoying luscious music, drawing and a warm talk. 

I'd rather post our impressions than pictures of that fine cuisine if I could. It was sensational, knocking our socks off. Bright flavour and unspeakably gentle aftertaste of the main course can't leave you cold.  Special citrus tea was the best I have ever had. And my paradisaical dessert, pumpkin pie with ice-cream that melts in the mouth, was unforgettable. That's love at first bite. 

Duck breast with caramelized apple
in berry sauce

Charbroilled chicken 

with garnish potato

There was not many visitors in Restobar that pleased me as I prefer peaceful rest. Warm welcome, high-level service with smile, original interior design, fancy cuisine and reasonable prices – all of that assure the fondest memories about Engineer. We had a dose of hospitality, fine taste and good cheer there that turned around my dislikes about restaurants. 

I'm truly grateful to my honey for our fairy-tale-ish and delicious anniversary. 

Home Sweet Home

Home is where the heart is

Pliny the Elder

A sudden inspiration flashed into my mind with the suggestive moment from The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien: "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort". 

Comfort is probably the keyword when we speak about dwelling. In my childhood memories I knew comfort as softness of blanket, dad's bergamote perfume, wall-to-wall carpet in tones of sandybrown, mom's violets on window sill, and adorable teddy bear.

Now I dream of comfort in the flat of our own rather than in rented one. Certainly, I've used to feel like home there, but can't help thinking this space isn't our. 

"Home contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body", - Benjamin Franklin said. Home is the place where we feel our best and know we'll be heared. It's where we make decisions and find our rest. It's where the family meets and where we meet the ones we love. It's the location of childhood memories; a light place occupied by happiness and peace. It is where we want to be... Where Wi-Fi connects automatically and twenty-four-hours hot water supply is :).

For me home is my heartland where people I love and who love me are. The place filled with familiar noise and flavours, native eyes and happy mess. It's where my daughter plays and sings. Where my husband embraсes me. I'm at home, because my heart is and will always be with them. 

"I know my kingdom awaits 

And the've forgiven my mistakes.

I'm coming home", - Skylar Grey sings.

May your own fortress have distinctive design, peachy interior color schemes, rooms with ample score to work and rest, welcome guests as the ornament of its walls, and square meters of happiness and warmth, not only from heaters :). 

Enough To Make a Dog Laugh: Favourite Comedies

Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith

Christopher Fry

If what scientists say is true, laughing triggers healthy physical changes in our body: it can prolong our life. When we laugh chemicals in our brain called endorphins are released which boosts our mood and energy, strengthens our immune system and protects  us from damaging affects of stress. Humor helps us to stay both emotionally and physically healthy.

Comedy is my favourite genre of movies because it makes me feel good. It is simply a funny way of being serious. It just pokes at problems. As Moliere said, comedy "corrects men by amusing them". A positive bond when our laugh is shared with somebody acts as a strong buffer against stress, disagreements, and disappointment.
If I and my husband go to the movies I would rather choose romantic or family comedy film, and he would prefer some action movie that combine a comic element (such as "Rush Hour", "Iron Man" and so on). I'd like to share some highlights of a few impressive funny films that provide moments of a good belly laugh.

"Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" is the great movie with the great actor Jim Carrey playing a genuine weirdo who happens to be stunningly competent at his job. No matter how many times you've seen this film, everything he does, every situation he is in is hilarious. Ace's humorous body actions, falling into a shark tank, searching for a missing jewel are only tiny portion of hilarious things about this film.

KEVIN! 8 year old boy defending his home from failed 'wet bandits' is amongst favourite heroes both of kids and adults. His clever and funny labyrinth of traps outsmarting adult rubbers Harry and Marv provides us with non-stop laughter. The plot is unbeleivable, but who cares - it's funny! It will just suffice to mention the scenes with Little Nero's Pizza boy and Marv scared with the gangster film:). "Home alone" became an enjoyable and warmhearted Christmass tradition.  

If you like Eddie-Movies, "Coming to America" is just the thing to watch. Sceens like the wedding ceremony of an African prince Akeem of Zamunda, abusive neighbors in New York, "interwieving" prospective brides in a Queens' bar, old men at the barber shop offer plenty of laughs. It's an awesome comedy and romance mixed together.

Rowan Atkinson's brilliant performance in "Johnny English Reborn", as well as in Mr. Bean Collection, relies more on visual gags. Be extremely careful: wheelchair racing down the streets of London, agent's fight sceens and opening scenes imitating parkour one in James Bond are above your expectations and may cause excessive laughter. :)

Bill Murray with his humor will never go out of style. The weatherman in "Groundhog Day" becomes trapped by some weird supernatural fate: he can't escape the same day of his life. Phill's annoying high school buddy, his robbing of armored truck filled with cash, his attempts to seduce Rita by his "hokus-pocus" powers "to predict" the future are quite funny.

I'd be happy you to share impressions from these or any other сomedies - light-hearted 'feel good' films crafted to amuse, entertain and enjoy providing merriment and a momentary escape from day-to-day life.